The Karate Kid

If Mr. Miyagi was so fucking handy, why did the apartment complex he was the superintendent for look like complete dog shit? Here, he takes Daniel's bike (the one he threw away because he felt like it, ma....) and has the thing not only repaired, but looking sparkling new within a span of a few hours. He restores a parking lot full of old cars to assembly-line fresh. His backyard was so fucking dazzling that Daniel-san was forced to admit that he had once thought Chung Lee's restaurant was nice, but that Miyagi had beaten his act. Yet, he somehow doesn't possess the ability to paint the building, fix the doors, fill the pool, or anything else. The place looks like a refugee camp, and he sits there, clipping his gay-ass bonsai trees, trying to catch flies with chopsticks, and kicking Cobra-Kai ass. Who's paying him? Is the guy that undemanding, or did Miyagi throw him a savage beating when he had the gall to ask about the state of disrepair that pervaded the entire complex? There's an old woman upstairs washing her armpits in the toilet because the new shower she demanded months ago hadn't been installed, and Daniel's running around the school dance wearing it as a costume, getting hit in the head with eggs, and acting like a complete fucking buttwad. If you run a hose on the All-Valley karate champion while he's dressed in a skeleton costume and rolling a joint, you're begging for an ass-kicking.But back to Miyagi. I won't even get into the fact that the guy does a few shots of sake and starts crying like a little bitch with a skinned knee. Way to handle your high, fruitcake. 4 fucking shots and..... *squish*.....just like-a grape. I'm sure he rolled out of bed nice and early the next morning and got right to work on fixing that leaky faucet in A214. I wonder if there was a kid in there trying to learn karate that he could make fun of. Or maybe he had 4-5 other kids running around the complex "learning karate" with such revolutionary teaching techniques as "Dust The Hamper," "Vacuum Under the Rocking Chair," or "Get The Bottlecap Out Of The Garbage Disposal." How else did he manage to get all his work done when he's running around playing grab-ass with a 16 year old high school kid all day long and spending his nights beating the shit out of other high school kids? Oh yeah, plus he goes fishing a lot, and goes to the beach and shows off by chopping the necks off of beer bottles. That's productive.