Monday, March 3, 2008

While we're talking war...

Music has been used in American military prisons and on bases to induce sleep deprivation, "prolong capture shock," disorient detainees during interrogations—and also drown out screams. Based on a leaked interrogation log, news reports, and the accounts of soldiers and detainees, here are some of the songs that guards and interrogators chose. I won't even comment.

24. Raspberry Beret, Prince
23. Swan Dive, Hed P.E.
22. Cold, Matchbox 20
21. Click Click Boom, Saliva
20. American Pie, Don Mclean
19. Bulls on Parade, Rage Against the Machine
18. America, Neil Diamond
17. Dirrty, Christina Aguilera
16. All Eyes on Me, Tupac
15. Stayin Alive, Bee Gees
14. Hells Bells, AC/DC
13. Shoot to Thrill, AC/DC
12. Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen
11. Babylon, David Gray
10. Sesame Street theme song.
9. “The Meow Mix" song
8. Enter Sandman, Metallica
7. Bodies, Drowning Pool
6. Barney Theme Song
5. Kim, Eminem
4. White America, Eminem
3. Take Your Best Shot, Dope
2. Die, Motherfucker, Die, Dope
1. Fuck Your God, Deicide

VH1, can we PLEASE make this a countdown hosted by Sebastian Bach? I'm begging you... I'm sure Scott Ian, Dee Snider, and the director of photography on Hostel 2 are available to do commentary. Can't you just hear Sebastian?

Sebastian : Coming in at number 9 is a brain-rattling mushroom cloud of a song that put the world on notice : cat food was not going to be ignored any longer !

(A computer rendered scene of a graveyard on a stormy night appears on screen. A thunderclap sound effect mixed with a heavy electric guitar chord is heard as a tombstone marked "MEOW MIX THEME" erupts from the black soil.....)

Video clip of an Iraqi soldier ripping his own ears off his head as "Meow, meow, meow, meow.... meow, meow, meow meow.." drones on in the background.

Sebastian voice over : Cat food commercials used to be pretty tame fare, until 4 guys from Wichita, Kansas came along and said '[bleep] all that !!!!'

Scott Ian : 'Meow Mix' is like the soundtrack to hell. I remember back when we first formed Anthrax, we used to get ripped and sit around the van listening to 'Meow Mix' for hours on end to get pumped up for the show....

Some b-horror movie director : I used 'Meow Mix' in "Cavern of Blood 9" because it captured the tortured souls of blah, blah, blah, blah...

Chuck Nice : Did that mother[bleep]er just say "Meow Mix?" Oh no he didn't......

Pleeeeeeeease, VH1.......

3 comments:

JoRo said...

"FREE OIL!!!!" from atop a bar stool.

Sounds like a good set list for the next beating. A good whisky challenge would be to have yams listen to dirrty 10 times in a row then have him take a shot every time you hear him hum the tune.

The Big F'n Show said...

What if he doesn't survive listening to it 10 times in a row? HAHA.

I LOVE this idea, but getting him to agree to it is going to be tough....

JoRo said...

i think if you give him the option of a song he likes vs dirrty, you can use reverse psych and tell him he is less likely to hum dirrty, meanwhile the jokes on him for having to listen to it ten times!!

wait he can see this, dammit

alright, just call him a pussy until he does it.