Things Remembered, North Carolina edition

Last June, two good friends of mine, Barry and Ashton, got married in Wrightsville Beach, NC. The matron of honor requested that the wedding guests each create a "page" for a wedding book they were putting together for the happy couple. I assume they wanted the garden-variety, saccharine collection of pithy anecdotes and breezy remembrances of days gone by. Naturally, you know I couldn't go that route, so I penned a bit of prose dedicated to the two and their love. It never made it to the finished album, not having passed the censors, so I figured I'd post it here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.

The convertible top was down, as it was a balmy afternoon in Las Vegas. Barry glanced at Ashton ever so briefly, careful not to lose control of the large rented vehicle, in which he was achieving an increasingly dangerous speed. Enervated for so long by an unfulfilled yearning that bordered frequently on obsession, their collective thirst was about to be sated. The object of their desire lay just before them, tantalizingly within reach, growing ever larger, and more tangible, with the rapid approach.

The seminal moment in Barry and Ashton’s relationship had taken place many months ago. One evening over cocktails at a local seafood joint in Gainesville called Northwest Grille, Barry had finally decided to share his dream with Ashton. This recurring dream of Barry’s had grown from fascination to preoccupation over the years, and Barry knew that if he didn’t act upon it soon, it would consume him. The debate as to whether or not to share his vision with Ashton had plagued him for months, and he finally wanted to rid himself of the burden of that decision. The only way to do this was to come clean, once and for all. Barry evidently was showing the strain of the anxiety he felt, because Ashton frowned and asked him if something was wrong mere moments after they’d sat down.

It was as if a floodgate had opened. Barry explained the details of his passion with a fervor not unlike the preachers of Ashton’s youth. He watched as she registered what he was saying, a look of stunned disbelief on her face. As he finished speaking, his initial thought was that he had blown it for good. Surely, she’d get up and walk away, never to return. When she stood abruptly, Barry had resigned himself to his fatal error, but instead of running off, she threw his arms around him and held him in a clutch that possessed a warmth that Barry had never before experienced.

“I’ve been dreaming the same thing….” she whispered.

Barry couldn’t believe his ears. “Will you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes!” Ashton responded breathlessly.

Now, months later, they were finally going to realize their dream together. In clear view, on the right hand side of the road, they could see the famous “Chapel of the Bells.” And just in front of it, an elderly man, homeless, carrying his meager possessions in a bandana at the end of a stick, just like the hobos of old. More importantly, just like the man in the dream. The huge engine roared as the drifter turned to face the vehicle at the penultimate moment. Barry and Ashton caught a quick glimpse of a sign – “Will work for –“ as the car impacted the man at 95 miles per hour. The sign was quickly thrown from view as the transient was hurled onto the hood of the car, up the windshield, and launched about 30 feet in the air. Barry jammed on the brakes and the huge auto screeched to a stop as the man landed in the middle of the road with a sickening thud. Barry’s eyes blazed as he turned to Ashton.

“Should I back up?” he asked Ashton, the wanton lust in his eyes enough to frighten anyone but her. His soul mate.

Ashton simply shook her head slowly, her eyes rolling back, betraying her ecstatic reverie. Barry knew what that meant. The man was dead. They held each other’s gaze a moment longer, then the tires screamed as Barry punched the gas and pulled away. The tires caught hold of the road, and the sound of burning rubber was replaced by peals of wild laughter as they both threw their heads back and laughed like jackals as the car tore off, crested a hill, and dropped out of sight…..